Life altering advice !!

2006-09-03T19:11:00.000+01:00

Okay, okay.

Some real advice (and a debut).

(Hi, my name is Dee.)

Got credit card debt?

Listen up. You aren't the only one, so you just gotta suck that one up now. The sad thing is, as I've learned, credit card companies are marketing their introductory offers to younger and younger people. The reason why goes something like this: Younger people have buying power. You probably thought you were hot shit with your first part-time job, and as soon as you'd get that paycheck, you'd blow it.

That's hawt to a credit card company. Your paycheck is, like, drool-inducing. And think of the marketing, you know. If you're going to spend your money at your favorite stores, you can still do that with your card, buy even more stuff and pay it off at your own convenience.

"Convenience" doesn't just mean carrying a balance; no, no. Your convenience fills the credit card company's coffers in adjustable interest rates, promises of fronting you cash in advance, and so on.

This chapter isn't for the individual who's already worked out a solid plan to pay off the debt. That solution is simple. If someone tells you x number of days cash back or x number of months interest free, you just divide your balance those many days/months and pay it off in that time frame.

This is for the individual who's already sitting on some debt -- whether it's a few hundred on one card or several thousand spread out over several cards.

Get it together, people.

Step One:
Breathe. Carrying debt and obsessing over it is a great way to become super anxious. As one commercial states, when you're in debt, you feel debt all around you. It's like this big looming skyscraper of puffy unbreathable marshmallow.

Suffocating won't get your debt down any faster. A clear head will. So, when you get some time, go out and enjoy some time with friends, relax, read, write, play or listen to music, or do whatever you need to do to relax before you start debt planning.

Step Two:
Retrieve your latest credit card statements. Write down the names of your cards, your current balance on each card, and your APR (interest rate).

Step Three:
List your monthly income and expenditures. It's alright if you can't get precise amounts, but your list should include all the bills you write each month as well as your monthly pay. Also include grocery money, gasoline, and entertainment estimates -- let's face it, you can't pay debt if you're starving, right?

For bills that occur every few months, quarter, or half-year like car insurance or car maintenance, simply divide your payment into monthly installments (e.g. $600 due twice a year equals $100 per month).

In fact, it's pretty useful to overestimate your expenditures and underestimate your income as you'll wind up with a bigger "cushion" each month than you thought. This might also work out for people who work in gray-collar industries that build salary off of commission (e.g. fashion outlets, insurance, car sales) or tips (e.g. food service, cocktail service).

Anyway, the difference between your income and your expenditures is the amount of money you can put toward your debt. We'll call this the repayment amount.

Step Four:
Here it is.

The "snowball." The "snowball method" is a debt repayment method in which you arrange your credit cards in a set order and apply the bulk of your repayment amount to the most outstanding charges first, pay off that card, then move to the next one.

Personally, I choose to pay off cards with the highest interest rates and balances, simply because these credit cards will acquire debt more quickly than lesser ones. Either way, I don't care what order you choose. It's your choice. Just remember that you're applying the bulk of your money to one card at a time so that you're actually putting a dent into your overall debt.

Your computer can help track expenses and progress.

Check out these helpful pages:

2006-08-10T22:34:00.000+01:00

Go Swedish!

2006-08-03T22:02:00.000+01:00

Butter your butt and tie yourself to an anthill.

2006-07-28T02:02:00.000+01:00

Maybe, Just maybe it's time to blow the old cobwebs off the Laa and start afresh?

2006-07-05T19:07:00.000+01:00

have your best mate blanket it you with paper cuts and then jump into a bathtub full of lemon juice...

2006-04-29T04:17:00.000+01:00

Nobody loves the Laa anymore..Nobody!!

I received an email from it the other day and it tells me it is truly sad..

As can be.

Long live the Laa

Laa

Laa...laaa!

2006-03-13T05:46:00.000Z

together, they share a secret

the location of the long/forgotten LAA BLOG

slowly, they rub the sticks together until the fire grows

fan those fucking flames, the ppl yell from the streets below

fan those fucking flames

2006-03-07T03:31:00.000Z

We all stood around the dead blog ..

It’s life had become meaningless , it just sat there on it’s own , sad , unused , a mere shell of it’s former glory …

What once was revered and respected in high circles was now unfunctional and despondent …

How had it come to this ? Was the world changing so fast that a shinning star had sooo easily been extinguished by the mere hint of a winter storm ??

We all revisted from time to time as if to pay our morbid respect , sometimes opening the decomposing link , just to see, just to know …

We'd pry and probe the dead text that lay there comatose in an inert , inanimate stupor , just because we could ..

Had it really come to this ?

Had it ??

Was it really worth the effort to bring it back ?

Would someone one day say that of me If I lay there disintegrating against a landscape of uncontaminated youthful more neoteric syntax ..

I fukin hope not ..

Twats !!!

Bring me back ..

I am not done with this world

I am Blog …

I am Life altering advice ..

For fuck’s sake.

Twats !!

2006-03-07T02:53:00.000Z

Bring an old friend back from a past life !!

2006-03-06T18:01:00.000Z

start posting on an abandoned blog.

2005-11-17T01:21:00.000Z

This blog is on its last legs ... Umm , I think it's about time I ripped it down ..

Life Altering advice is dead , Long live life altering advice !!

2005-10-20T20:14:00.000+01:00

Neglect your blogg !!

2005-10-04T10:59:00.000+01:00

Sleep !!

2005-10-03T20:23:00.000+01:00

live on stolen food samples (sugar, mayo, ketchup, pepper, vinegar, sweetner, mini milks, mini jams, mini PBs, mini butters etc etc) and only buy bread.

2005-10-03T03:14:00.000+01:00

Throw malicious comments at a random blog behind a veneer of sudo anonymity ... then watch it all backfire in your face ..

2005-10-01T13:51:00.000+01:00

Pretend to be an airplane and try and take off at a busy airport ..

2005-10-01T13:50:00.000+01:00

Tie a rocket to your ass and light the fuse ..

2005-09-30T16:30:00.000+01:00

anyone who spam comments this post is ugly and has a whore for a mother.

2005-09-23T00:54:00.000+01:00

post every day

2005-09-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

Beee good !!

2005-09-10T09:58:00.000+01:00

Start an 8 month long ( juice free ) binge of drugs, alcohol and cigars ....

2005-09-08T17:02:00.000+01:00

start a month long juice fast after coming off an 8 month drug and alcohol and cigar binge.

2005-09-05T10:03:00.000+01:00

Have unprotected sex with someone whose husband or wife had AIDS (this is only potentially life-altering)

2005-09-05T10:02:00.000+01:00

Bite yourself really hard every time you are about to fall asleep

2005-09-05T10:01:00.000+01:00

Eat the liver of a polar bear

2005-08-31T19:42:00.000+01:00

Find the difference in genetic code between humans and chimps ... then add the missing genes back into the chimp code ... then grow the result ..

2005-08-25T14:27:00.000+01:00

compose a handwritten dissertation in autumn. watch it fly away with the wind.

2005-08-25T03:45:00.000+01:00

put the lotion in the basket

[oritgetsthehoseagain]

2005-08-22T10:47:00.000+01:00

1. Attack a poor American Christian girl's point of view about the Middle East Peace Process on her own blog and sincerely apologize for being such an insensitive arse (You like that London Cokehead? I said arse!)

2. Perhaps join LeeLoreya on yet another blog collective without any intentions to do so. I found it interesting to see her at the Taking the Brim blog.

3. Run a mile or two despite being sedentary for many months. It was a rush.

2005-08-22T10:25:00.000+01:00

Build a " cinema of lurve " in your bedroom ..

2005-08-17T17:24:00.000+01:00

type with your tongue

2005-08-17T17:23:00.001+01:00

get moving

2005-08-17T17:23:00.000+01:00

get pregnant

2005-08-14T08:59:00.000+01:00

go through customs casually eating a sandwich that has mariwana hidden under the crust.

2005-08-14T08:58:00.000+01:00

swallow a toad

2005-08-12T09:04:00.000+01:00

change the color of your skin

2005-08-12T09:02:00.000+01:00

take a job as a house-sitter and never buy an appartment

2005-08-11T04:02:00.000+01:00

break all ten of the ten commandments in one hour

2005-08-11T03:49:00.000+01:00

alienate an important contact in your english department by telling his associates' magazine to fuck/off when they make the mistake of offering you money for words while you're on a drinking binge.

2005-08-10T14:51:00.000+01:00

once you put all your cds on your iPod, use them to slice up zombies (Idea Inspired by Very Popular 2004 British Movie)

2005-08-10T14:49:00.000+01:00

save money for drugs by giving up rehab. (works for alcohol, of course, you dear deranged addicted lunatic of a reader)

2005-08-10T14:44:00.000+01:00

make ashtrays out of soda cans and sell them

2005-08-10T14:42:00.000+01:00

store underwear in icebox

2005-08-09T14:18:00.000+01:00

Try and avoid expensive bus/train fares but purchasing a set of suction cups , tying them to your hands and feet and then sticking yourself to the back of your chosen transport ..

2005-08-09T14:16:00.000+01:00

Avoid expensive restaurants by taking a varied selection of sandwiches with you while out on a date ..

2005-08-09T14:11:00.000+01:00

Save time and money at florists by taking a trip to the local cemetery . They will always have an ample supply of freshly cut flowers .

2005-08-09T14:10:00.000+01:00

Avoid parking restrictions by buying a tank ..

2005-08-05T19:03:00.000+01:00

read the yellow pages and try imagining a plot for all those characters in that neverending cast.

2005-08-04T15:45:00.000+01:00

save money by: cutting your hair all by yourself, bringing your own wine (or, more risky, mug of coffee/tea) to restaurants, switch to rolled cigarets, walk or take your bike etc.
And in the end, buy yourself a 1300 euros chanel bag/armani suit if you happen to be a man or a person who's not fond of handbags. Hum, that doesn't seem right. Not like handbags? There is no such person, the same way as there is not a single soul on the earth that drinks only water (except Moby). Or if there is, it is not a person, it is an android.

aaanyway.
you get my point.

2005-08-04T15:18:00.000+01:00

read cokehead's ultimate 100s list and try at least half of it.

2005-08-02T09:09:00.000+01:00

to be famous, don't try a thing.

2005-08-01T20:19:00.000+01:00

To avoid being fried to a crisp , don't stand behind Mig 29 jets .

2005-08-01T20:12:00.000+01:00

To avoid credit card fraud , don't posses a credit card .

2005-08-01T20:11:00.000+01:00

To avoid confrontation , try not to be confrontational .

2005-07-31T22:14:00.000+01:00

1. Try to sell the piece of the Shuttle that you found on Ebay.
2. Refuse to open the door when the Feds come looking for it.

2005-07-31T19:02:00.000+01:00

Never do stuff that you don't want to do ..

2005-07-30T11:22:00.000+01:00

When in doubt , Kill !

2005-07-30T11:19:00.000+01:00

To avoid spending too much time in bus queue's , run your own bus service and timetable it to suit yourself ...

2005-07-28T00:21:00.000+01:00

To save time and money at the supermarket checkout , never go shopping ..

2005-07-28T00:19:00.000+01:00

To avoid being beaten up on the street ( while dressed like an innocent mugger ) , stay in the house ..

2005-07-28T00:17:00.000+01:00

To avoid being stopped by the police every five minutes ( while dressed like a mugger ) , dress like an innocent mugger .

2005-07-28T00:06:00.000+01:00

To avoid being mugged on the street , dress like a mugger ...

2005-07-27T00:59:00.000+01:00

Build you own space rocket from egg boxes and then try and fly to Mars ..

2005-07-24T17:40:00.000+01:00

put generous amounts of this spicy pepper paste called "harissa" on anything and lose 3 liters of sweat, or die of a heart attack. both choices are awfully smart, evidently.

2005-07-24T05:56:00.000+01:00

is it still way early to say run away from the london police while wearing a winter jacket on a hot day?

[suchastrongmessage]

2005-07-23T10:48:00.000+01:00

make money by doing modern conceptual art such as putting 1000 candles on a bike and let them melt on it or expose a screenless computer with handcuffs in it and so on and on

2005-07-22T11:04:00.000+01:00

do the ramadan in the middle of summer

2005-07-22T01:16:00.000+01:00

Invade a country , under a false pretence because it has changed the currency it uses for the exchange of oil .

Stand back and then watch as your countries economical system crumbles beneath your feet ..

Go to bed with a sore head ..

2005-07-20T22:22:00.000+01:00

obsessively watch the videos your friends are sending home from iraq at the same time you are writing papers on the development of islam and see what the professor [who holds the keys to thousands of dollars in funding money that can go into your body instead if you pay your cards right] thinks.

2005-07-20T11:04:00.000+01:00

obvious one: have a loud casual phone conversation about your lover's performance in bed in the dead silent parisian metro.

2005-07-20T11:02:00.000+01:00

pay some friends to come screaming at you begging for autographs and taking pictures of you in a very crowded place like the Champs Elysees

2005-07-20T09:02:00.000+01:00

Rather than paying rent, sleep on a friend's couch. When you want to sleep in a bed, have sex with someone.

2005-07-20T09:01:00.000+01:00

Rewrite all your old poems and stories so they all include extended descriptions of white spiders coming out of women's bodies (a friend of mine once had a nervious breakdown and actually did this)

2005-07-20T08:56:00.000+01:00

Reorganize your life so that you never have to wear clothes

2005-07-19T23:39:00.000+01:00

Run a bloody nightclub at the same time as running a studio , a record label , engineering live bands and chasing money ..

O , and not forgetting an online diary .

2005-07-19T14:05:00.000+01:00

walk around with gloves on all day and an ugly blanket to put on the seats on a bus/tube and a scarf around your nose and big dark glasses and a fake book titled "surviving SRAS" on your knee.

2005-07-19T14:03:00.000+01:00

run around the same block of houses for a few hours constantly looking behind you fearfully then after an hour start gasping and screaming and running faster and see if anyone notices.

note: for a shorter version, try this in supermarkets.

2005-07-19T02:21:00.000+01:00

Buy a Trampoline

2005-07-18T18:55:00.000+01:00

spend one day not thinking about, wanting, picturing, talking about bombs and carnage. it's called necessary selfishness.

2005-07-18T18:50:00.000+01:00

stop strangers in the street and ask them how they are

2005-07-18T16:18:00.000+01:00

go downtown and start taking pictures of govt buildings

2005-07-18T06:02:00.000+01:00

Seduce Lynndie England. Then let her put a dog-collar on you and walk you. . .

2005-07-18T05:57:00.000+01:00

Call CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia, and tell them your name and address and say you're an Al Queda agent.

When you arrive in Guantanamo, say you won't reveal anything, no matter what they do to you

2005-07-17T23:26:00.000+01:00

put your finger in the frying pan to see if the temperature is allright

2005-07-17T23:14:00.000+01:00

try to board a plane with a loaded gun.

2005-07-17T21:46:00.001+01:00

drink a lot of coffee in a short period of time and eat only jelly beans then spend the next day in the toilets completely dehydrated and awake and with rotten teeth.

2005-07-17T21:46:00.000+01:00

buy the children's and adult's version of Harry Potter VI and try to list the differences.

2005-07-17T21:44:00.000+01:00

try to sleep on the little thing at airports that sends luggage into the plane, then wake up at four AM to see people staring at you and the TV above your head that says "Rome, 4:30 Check In Started"

2005-07-17T21:22:00.000+01:00

Donate your old PC to the Masai Mara .

2005-07-17T20:17:00.000+01:00

Get laid in a cornfield ..

2005-07-16T17:02:00.000+01:00

Give yourself numerous enemas, with substances such as: coffee, wheatgrass juice, heavily-chlorinated water, chamomile tea, almond paste (in sugar solution), Kirin Ichiban lager, and/or 100% blueberry juice.

Almond paste is particularly good because it's rough

2005-07-15T01:34:00.000+01:00

Invite a hippopotamus for tea and biscuits ..

2005-07-14T23:45:00.000+01:00

Bloggs Suspiciously Similar to this One , Excuse me !!
I guess you invented the public blog option in the options list did you ?

What you reckon DOALCH ?

2005-07-13T14:02:00.000+01:00

count the lines on a standard cigarette, then those on a 100s cigarette, deduce the difference, compare the prices, convert lines in money, feel smart.

2005-07-11T03:05:00.000+01:00

Ask for a refund from a prostitute ..

2005-07-10T00:27:00.000+01:00

take an al qaeda banner with you when you go to see arsenal play.

2005-07-08T12:58:00.000+01:00

turn on the news

2005-07-08T10:40:00.000+01:00

try sleeping like a bat with your feet attached to the ceiling and your hand hanging down.

then let kirsten dunst kiss you upside down like spiderman.

2005-07-08T03:17:00.000+01:00

When in Russia , go to a strip club , owned by the mafia , get loads of dances , and then tell them you 've run out of money owing a huge tab ..

We are ( me and the band ) still alive though ..

Thank fuck ..

2005-07-08T01:17:00.000+01:00

1. do meth for five days at a time for six months straight.

2. wear a bin laden t/shirt to any college or working class bar in the united states.

3. get fronted a quarter key and do it all with strippers.

4. tell on the dealers in a desperate attempt to avoid your imminent doom.