Never do stuff that you don't want to do ..

When in doubt , Kill !

To avoid spending too much time in bus queue's , run your own bus service and timetable it to suit yourself ...

To save time and money at the supermarket checkout , never go shopping ..

To avoid being beaten up on the street ( while dressed like an innocent mugger ) , stay in the house ..

To avoid being stopped by the police every five minutes ( while dressed like a mugger ) , dress like an innocent mugger .

To avoid being mugged on the street , dress like a mugger ...

Build you own space rocket from egg boxes and then try and fly to Mars ..

put generous amounts of this spicy pepper paste called "harissa" on anything and lose 3 liters of sweat, or die of a heart attack. both choices are awfully smart, evidently.

make money by doing modern conceptual art such as putting 1000 candles on a bike and let them melt on it or expose a screenless computer with handcuffs in it and so on and on

do the ramadan in the middle of summer

Invade a country , under a false pretence because it has changed the currency it uses for the exchange of oil .

Stand back and then watch as your countries economical system crumbles beneath your feet ..

Go to bed with a sore head ..

obvious one: have a loud casual phone conversation about your lover's performance in bed in the dead silent parisian metro.

pay some friends to come screaming at you begging for autographs and taking pictures of you in a very crowded place like the Champs Elysees

Run a bloody nightclub at the same time as running a studio , a record label , engineering live bands and chasing money ..

O , and not forgetting an online diary .

walk around with gloves on all day and an ugly blanket to put on the seats on a bus/tube and a scarf around your nose and big dark glasses and a fake book titled "surviving SRAS" on your knee.

run around the same block of houses for a few hours constantly looking behind you fearfully then after an hour start gasping and screaming and running faster and see if anyone notices.

note: for a shorter version, try this in supermarkets.

Buy a Trampoline

spend one day not thinking about, wanting, picturing, talking about bombs and carnage. it's called necessary selfishness.

stop strangers in the street and ask them how they are

put your finger in the frying pan to see if the temperature is allright

drink a lot of coffee in a short period of time and eat only jelly beans then spend the next day in the toilets completely dehydrated and awake and with rotten teeth.

buy the children's and adult's version of Harry Potter VI and try to list the differences.

try to sleep on the little thing at airports that sends luggage into the plane, then wake up at four AM to see people staring at you and the TV above your head that says "Rome, 4:30 Check In Started"

Donate your old PC to the Masai Mara .

Get laid in a cornfield ..

Invite a hippopotamus for tea and biscuits ..

count the lines on a standard cigarette, then those on a 100s cigarette, deduce the difference, compare the prices, convert lines in money, feel smart.

Ask for a refund from a prostitute ..

turn on the news

try sleeping like a bat with your feet attached to the ceiling and your hand hanging down.

then let kirsten dunst kiss you upside down like spiderman.

When in Russia , go to a strip club , owned by the mafia , get loads of dances , and then tell them you 've run out of money owing a huge tab ..


We are ( me and the band ) still alive though ..

Thank fuck ..

No , really really try and sleep ..

Try and actually sleep for once ...

Give all your money to a church , then demand a refund coz it's not working ...

With interest !

visit a new big city in which you can barely speak the local language, without a map, without a mini dictionary.

count the number of cigarettes you smoke a day, week, month, year, decade and evaluate how much you would've smoked in ten years, and decide to stop smoking when the number reaches 1 million.

count the drops that fall into the sink. then calculate the hours average, then afternoon average...

(for teenagers)
run away from your parents to an isolated house in the woods and sulk all night then sleep and wonder why your arms and legs are all sliced up when you wake up

"come on baby... be someone"

Marry a girl who's had lots of plastic surgery , forgetting that she was once not all that , and then wonder why your kids all look hideous !!

Organise a small gig , to help a couple of mates who live in Africa , then send them a lifetimes supply of chocolate and vodka.

Yum Yum , that'll help ..

Who the ..... is leeanne ?????

Oh it's you !

O well guess if you here , your here !!

Do soo many fukin drugs , that you don't even know what day it is any more !!

Invite 30 or so people to comment on a public blogg , and realise you invited them to Admin your own personnel blogg ..

Doh !!!

wear a genuine fox furcoat at a PETA convention.

create a patchwork of chewing gum paper

use your hair as a mop and your jeans to sweep the streets

Perform a hold up in your local bakery then spend 2 hours explaining the myope old lady with missing teeth what a hold up is.

draw a moustache on the mona lisa and write LHOOQ (elle a chaud au cul = her ass is on fire) underneath....oh wait, that has been done already by the surrealist gang.

repaint the walls of your room with only nail polish

hide in the toilets of a movie theater and try watching the same movie for a week

work as a waiter in a healthy restaurant and drizzle extra oil and butter on the plates for dietting customers.

waste your morning cigaret by lighting it with closed eyes the other way round